A Landmark in Civil Rights: “Love, Simon” (2018) is Real Gay Life, by Alec Frazier and Autistic Reality

When I saw “Love, Simon” at the movie theaters, I expected a cute teen romantic comedy. It was not. It was a profound piece of civil rights history: the first mainstream gay romance film about the high school generation.

Promotional Image of Simon for Love, Simon

I saw a great deal of myself in the film. Like Simon, I am not an extremely effeminate gay guy. Like Simon, my family was ridiculously accepting of my coming out. Like Simon, I had some trouble with peers in school bullying me for being gay. Like Simon, I have an amazingly tolerant group of friends.

It’s funny, because this film portrays gay romance as a mostly run-of-the-mill thing, and, in today’s society, it is increasingly becoming so. I have seen reactions on Facebook from people who say it is not, but they are from places like Billings, Montana where viewpoints on the issue is hardly moderate. I came out at age 19 in 2005. In my years as an openly gay man, I have, for the most part, encountered people who are incredibly tolerant of homosexuality. In fact, I would say at least 80% of the individuals I have encountered think of it as a nonissue. I will admit that I travel and mostly liberal circles, but I do not shy away from conservative areas of the country and the world, either.

Simon with his Family

Family acceptance is also becoming more and more common, and Simon’s family is indicative of that. When I came out of the closet, my mother said she had known since I was six months old. Simon’s mother tells him that she had suspected for quite some time. My father was extremely tolerant, and even asked me extremely technical questions about gay relationships. Simon’s father makes awkward jokes and also gets out of his depth about gay culture; he thinks Grindr is like Facebook for gay people! Simon’s sister has no issues whatsoever, and neither did my brother. In fact, not a single family member of mine raised an issue.

This isn’t just a trend with myself and my family: I have even met people from the middle of rural Iowa whose families are ridiculously accepting. I will admit that I encountered members in my university’s LGBTQ alliance who had a tough time coming out, but I also met many people on the LGBTQ spectrum who did not have a tough time of it. It is curious, because most of those people did not belong to the alliance and were often not actively involved in LGBTQ matters at the school. I would hazard a guess that people in my college joined LGBTQ causes and groups exactly because they found little acceptance at home.

There are a few dream sequences in the film, and in one of them, Simon is in a college that is so gay-friendly that the entire sequence is a musical bedecked in rainbows. As a matter of fact, I actually went to such a university. While tolerance of the gay population was absolutely amazing, tolerance of other groups such as the disability population lagged significantly. In addition, since I am not a very visibly gay person, there was incredible pressure upon me to become so, but that is just not me. It’s not Simon, either. There is a moment the film when he googles “how to dress like a gay guy”, but he decides that it is not for him.

Simon navigates a series of common high school interactions with friends, all of whom are tolerant of him being gay. For the record, my friends are all completely tolerant of that facet of my life, some even brag about it. Many of girls and I appraise guys together, there is a scene where Simon does that with his friend Abby. There is a moment he is outed by a guy, but the guy in question isn’t homophobic; he’s just being a jerk, and even apologizes profusely.

There are a couple of bullies in the school who make fun of him and the school’s only other openly homosexual male student. They are dealt with swiftly by those in charge. Like Simon, I was bullied and even gay bashed by students in school, in this case, roommates at my community college. Unlike Simon, the students never apologized, and the staff of the school all the way up to the vice president aided and abetted the gay bashers. I made a much, much better place now.

Simon’s relationship with his online boyfriend, Blue, parallels many relationships that I have had. Like Simon, I tend to look for romance, and not casual hookups. In real life, gay couples often chat extensively online before meeting in person. There are many dating apps where this happens, in addition to more traditional platforms such as email. In the end, it is revealed that Blue is Simon’s acquaintance Bram, an African-American jock from school. In gay relationships, interracial dating is widely accepted. The idea is that our whole population has had to go through an entire civil rights movement to gain the right to have open relationships, so it really isn’t a big deal if someone you date doesn’t look like you. There are many more important factors. I myself have dated a number of different kinds of guys, African Americans included.

At the end of the film, Simon and Bram start their relationship together. It doesn’t happen with a bang, or with overwhelming drama. It just happens. This has been true for straight couples for generations. There is no reason why it shouldn’t hold true for us.

Bram and Simon Kissing

Love, Simon is an absolutely sweet, cute, accurate portrayal of romance amongst many gay teenagers in today’s world. For that simple fact, it is a landmark film unlike any before. Gay youth having trouble with acceptance should see this film. Others having trouble accepting people who are gay should see this film. People who are friendly or family to the gay cause should see this film. Not to mention, on its own, it is a wonderful film. We give it five out of five stars, or ten out of ten.